these are a few of my creepist things...

I am a self-proclaimed stalker. I stalk people I know, and people I just saw in person, and people on my newsfeed.
Alright, first of all, if you didn't want people to know, don't publicize it where people can access it. If someone stalks you, it's your own damn fault. That's why I block my facebook from my family members.

So anyways, recently this has come back to haunt me. Kinda. After I ran in SF, I went to the bag check to retrieve my bag. The person who helping me was a fellow who went by the name Ben. I have never met Ben, and I am positive he knows nothing about me. I've seen him in my frequent facebook stalkings of his friends and found that he was a recurring member of the photos. Inhibitions (as well as dermal senses) lost due to exhaustion, I told him that I know of him through sis friends. It was until then that he realized that I might be one of those girls who stalk people on the internet at 3 am eating twizzlers and slim jims making shrines of celebrities and other boys who were nice to me. I'm not that. all the time.

But the absurdity for my ability to stalk is frightening. Not only am I an efficient stalker, I also have an uncanny ability to remember everything about everyone. So when I run into/meet/i am caught lurking in the bushes the said person I stalk on the world wide web, awkward conversation happens and I am left in the uncomfortable position of whether I knew a piece of information about this person through speaking to them, or facebook stalking.

I'm not that terrible to be honest, but if I end up having a crush on you...

hide yo facebook, hide yo tumblr, and even hide yo twitter feeds. I be stalking everybody.

good idear

That's the way my teacher says "idea". He says, "Idear" and it's allowed because he's obviously from Germany and he faintly looks like a chubbier Brad Pitt.

Guy on the left. Hey... where's angelina and your 398742834 kids?

This blog isn't really about him. It's actually dealing with good ideas. The creation of this blog is a good idea because now 3 people have something to read in their spare time. It wasn't a good idea to get a salami sandwich today. It was also not a good idea to drink wine while studying last night. It was a good idea to go to the library but it was not a good idea to forget my ID card because everyone went to hang out at the bars. It was a good idea that I wore my ear flaps today and it wasn't a good idea to eat an underdeveloped persimmon. It gives you cotton mouth btw. It's good idea to wear a bra in public but it's not a good idea to stop brushing your hair if you want to maintain a perception of hygiene. It's a good idea to sleep early and a bad idea to stay up blogging... oops. You catch my drift. The reason why I brought up the idea of..."ideas" is because I thought it would be useful to use a random word generator in order to jog my memory for a good story. The word that came up was :"climbing". I can write a bunch of things about climbing. Something that is really popular now is rock climbing. I swear, everyone is 'bouldering' and 'dyno' and outdoor ropes and callouses the size of their hands. Awesome........ But that's not what I'm going to talk about. I will also not go into the time I was talking so much trash against my sister when were doing a climbing wall and she totally schooled me. Embarassing. This is a story of when I had to climb into the second story without a ladder.


Now that I think about it, it's going to be a short story. Once my cousin locked herself in a room and she couldn't get out. This being summer, we were worried about her well being, and he tears and screams didn't bode well in our minds. I had a really good idea of stacking things to get to the second story. It began with a table with wheels.A great base for a sloped driveway. Then a tall table, then a box, then like, this triangular thing which made the platform slanty. Overestimating my stacking abilities, I climbed to the top and clung to the side of the lower level rooftop. All i had to do was pull myself on top. I could muster up the strength i'm pretty sure............ it was a one shot jump kind of thing, it looked like my elevation structure could only with stand one forceful push before it crumbled into woodchips. Seeing that this may be a safety issue, my neighbors across the street offered a ladder, and my grandma actually had a friend who had a ladder and she walks it down the street. Using common sense, I used the ladder and got into the room where my cousin was laying on the ground silently and bored. And that was how I saved my cousin from heat stroke

Dressing on the side

Do you ever look at people and think, "wow, what were they thinking?" Like some sort of self-appointed guru in fashion, I have rebuked frumpy frans and outdated orphilias since I got my first pair of platform shoes.

Thank you Spice Girls for my 3rd grade fashion!

But lately, I've been reevaluating myself. Am i REALLY dressing well? I don't remember my last clothing purchase (ok i do, it was a shirt dress and it was pretty darn cute and cheap... and also a bit over sized but it makes me look thinner...) But on a day to day basis, are people really judging me?

fig 1)

The typical frisbee attire. I forget the mounds of fat that rolls around my stomach that becomes accentuated when I wear this. Not to mention the see-through-ness of my leggings and my penchant longing to wear the brightest chonies when i decide to wear this. The above picture should also have the following photo in the equation

this pictures is not actually me, but closely resembles it

Once I went to class in the above attire, and I realize that these v-necks actually need replacing. Many washings as well as dirt chucks that attach itself to said shirt when I lay out during frisbee practice has turned these white shirts to off-white-boarder-line-grey-shirts. As I was talking to the girl next to my on the computer, she was looking at me then my shirt, then quickly realizing her mistake, looked at my face again. She was looking at the rim of discoloration around the collar of my shirt. Mortified and not caring at the same time, I decided to not wear that shirt anymore. From then on, I check for stains in brightly lit areas rather than the first one I found on the floor.

fig 2)

Notre Dame Cardigan

Not a vase, a strapless dress

This is not too bad. Except for the fact that the cardigan is literally my ND uniform. I like it! I've gotten complements... from former students on the Davis campus. It's cool. I think I've gotten other complements from other people, but it was also really dark  and they were partially intoxicated probably. And they had cataracts. And they under the spell of always-telling-a-lie. But it's not terrible except for the fact that I'll wear a nice dress only having to wear something over it so it would look decent. If you know me, I can make a turtle neck look indecent. Thanks, mom! for these chestical growths pouring out of the front of my dress. I do have a lot of cute dresses though. Too bad that I had to be covered by the banality that was our uniform. You can take the girl out of all-girls-catholic-school but you can't take the all-girls-catholic-school out of the girl. Whew, that was a bit much to type out.

Fig 3)

EVERY SORORITY GIRLS' BASIC NECESSITY. OMG. TEHEEHEE

Ignore State printed on the side

Literally, this is what I woke for like 3 days straight. Why? well, one of the days was a midterm, and the other times, i was just cold. The northface sweater above is literally a fundamental piece of clothing sorority girl. Sometimes i wear it with fig 1's attire and put my hair up in a messy bun and pretend i'm a skanky ho that's majoring in anthropology and love the color pink. But lately, I've toned it down and I've been wearing them with my pilling sweats for lord knows now long ago. (i do remember wearing them during middle school. ancient times dating back to 9 years ago. OMG.. nearly a decade. WHERE HAS TIME GONE? I'll tell you where it's gone. it's gone into the seems of my blue sweats and unraveling it to pieces one thread at a time). 

You know why else this jacket may look familiar to you? My entire family has it. Including my grandma.
Mom: "it da goot deal. 60 dawla! i buy fo. one fo you, fo vi, fo grandma, fo mommie. And daddy get one too. onlee fitty dawlah. soo cheep!"

vi tran via facebook: "mom bring asian flair to france"

So yeah. I dress terribly now. I keep thinking to myself that possibly one day, I'll get a job and maybe finally, I'll buy real clothes. Even at retail price! So now, if you see a girl who's dressed as though she's a haggard hobo. Hit a sista up! That's me!

Mewzik

Everyone always say that they love every type of music. All but COUNTRY. It's what we put in our music section of our Facebook. Right after we list Lady GaGa and Justin Beibz. Well since most of my friends aren't white hicks, I may have a skewed view of things. And all of you who say you do like country because you like Taylor Swift and Lady Antebellum. Please. Stop fooling yourself and refrain from living in Lala land that is your disillusioned state. If Wild 94.9 can convert your 'country' song to a dancey-club hit, chances are, you aren't putting enough twangs and references to your oversized truck in your song.

Music speaks the words of our souls. Why else would we quote relatively famous quotes in our profiles and statuses if it wasn't the case. There's nothing more original in expressing your self/thoughts/beliefs/opinions/originality than writing a lyric to your fav song. 

I diverge. I am a bit of a music snob. But really, I do listen to music way before it drops because I'm basically a music producer, but in reality I stalk hypem and elbo.ws to be super indie and hipster. I listen to an array of tunes, but I like obscure beats and sounds. Unorthodox instruments in harmonious cacophony is my fav. Sweet Disposition really sticks out of my head even though it actually doesn't follow my previous description. In general, I like songs that are pretty slow. I'm a big fan of DCFC and Iron and Wine right now. Very sit-in-my-room-in-the-dark-all-by-myself music. As you can imagine, it's music to get you no more motivated than conjuring enough power to start crying and sulking in the fact that you COMPLETELY relate to the song even though in reality, none of the events in the song ever happened in your life. Oh Ben Gibbard, your lyrics speak pages of my biography (a fictional work) ! 

Most of you (all 3 of you who read this blog. Myself included) if not all, know I have successfully done a marathon. 26.2 miles of "WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!?!!" Most runners prepare in many ways. Most, if not all, train and eat healthy. I trained... kinda. when I wasn't too tired. And I ate healthily, and unhealthily when I felt like it. Most runners carboload the night before. But since my diet already consists of 95% of carbohydrates, this didn't prose as a problem for me. I stretched kinda (you know when you wake up?) and I was good. But you know what made me great? The fact that I made the bombdiggidiest playlist. I borrowed my friends iPod and had to go through the excruciating pain of downloading anything onto my elderly computer. It has had a good run, but functions mostly on lots of positive thinking, patient coercing,  love and medicare, like most old people. Anyways, among the tangle of technology my playlist ended up organizing itself in alphabetical order. Which was stupid. It also mixed two playlists together. One playlist was for downtime and the other sounds were pump me up song. UGHHHH I was outraged but mostly, I was annoyed that I figured this out so late. It didn't matter, all that mattered that one song was on the pump it list, and it was. Usher - DJ got me falling in love. Let me elaborate. Pump up music must be the trashiest of music. It must have a strong fast bass beat and the lyrics must involve the least amount of human intelligence as possible. In running music, the theme for song lyrics in a song is "less is more". This is inversely proportionally to eardrum-blowingly loud beats. So when I saw that New Boyz - You're a Jerk was followed closely by Lil Jon's Freeze with the Usher kicker. There was a lot of repeats. It made me want to run because I would save those sounds for the run, and it was good incentive to run faster because in your mind, you were thinking "MY GAWD, if i don't finish within these songs, I'm going to have to listen to Rhianna." Towards the end of my marathon, the only thing that kept me going with Usher. So, Usher, thanks. 

Phunnie Phamilee

This was in the latest installments of emails my mom has send to the family as she spends her time basking in the aura of holiness. She's recently departed to Euroland where she will be pilgrimage (pronounced pil-gri-mauge in Ye Old English. Thanks Chaucer!) to Catholic holy sites. The Ground Zero Mosque if you will. (just kidding. too soon?) Anyways, this is the following message:

we went to a lot of places in Rome. om taook a bus ride at a middle of the night / me. we kissed a lot of saint bones and Jesus stuff, touching the holly things.

took a lot of pics. mom has a good time w/ bunch of her oldies.

bye for now.

Love u all,

Le

Why was it, that one fateful day, my TA asked if I was born in a different country and that my misspellings and grammatical errors were common to those in her ESL classes? Dunno. Can't be because of my mom because she's obviously a Nobel Peace Prize winner in writing. But it was an entertaining thing to read. 

What I like most about my mom is that she's funny on accident and on purpose. She also likes attention. I am my mom. 

She's also good with remembering good stories. Here's one for the Annie chronicles. 

"Once, we got our airline tickets when you were about 4 or 5 and you were looking at them with your dad. Your father showed you the first ticket and pointed to the name. You correctly answered, "Annie Tran". Impressed, you dad showed you the next ticket. He, again, pointed to the name and asked you to read it. You exclaimed, "Tuan Tran"! At this point, he was really excited. "A CHILD PRODIGY! MY CHILD IS GOING TO BE A GENIUS!" Then the moment of truth. 

dad - "Annie, what does this say?" pointing to the name of the 3rd and final ticket

annie - "Mom Tran!"

The hopes and dreams of this father for his daughter came to a crashing end. She's not going to go to Harvard. She's not going to be really good at chess. She won't acquire the ability to play piano arpeggios with her back facing the keys. Or do a no handed triple somersault. She was not meant to be a child prodigy of any kind.

I was born to sound and write like a fob. Awesome.

Cheezus Cripes!

It's not unknown that I don't like a lot of people. I'm pretty blatant with my inner rage when someone who I strangely despise is near (or happens to pop in my mind at the time). I used to not like this girl because she ALWAYS repeated everything I said. She said it "for herself" because it was funny. Which makes absolutely no sense. Why would you even think that made sense? Think about it. When you see a shooting star, it's amazing. when you see another shooting star afterwards...well, that 1st shooting star wasn't so special now was it? I'm not saying that my jokes are out of this world. I'm just implying it so that you can subconsciously think that when I'm really feeding you these beliefs. But seriously, her echo of the funny thing I said was like a diffusion of an explosion's magnitude. I am a hurricane and she is the everglades. How will I break the levies of laughter in New Orleans if she's taking the winds out of my comedic storm? So the moral of the story is... destroy nature? No. I just don't like people sometimes. I get irritated by little things and it's an unfortunate occurrence when a well meaning friend has an irritating idiosyncrasy they have blindly been accustomed to.

Well I think I've gotten better. Usually I try to refrain from sarcastic remarks, but it's so difficult when literally 50% of whatever comes out of my mouth is an exaggeration or the complete opposite of what I am really saying. Awesome. I'm a liar and a hater.

problem? solution!

seriously. this is a 'real' term. :http://24hourhiphop.com/hip+hop+Fashion/HATER+BLOCKERS/1911/

Why am I even bringing this up? Well you can guess correctly, I have recently been irritated by someone. There's a girl in my garden who really thinks she's amazing and is pretty much the most privileged white girl ever. (and there's sooooo many in the world)! Please girl. No one cares about your iPhone 4. Nor do we care about how you life in 'THE CITY" (SF not NY. Please) and no one cares that you are taking 17 units NOT COUNTING THIS INTERNSHIP. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. this 'internship' is gardening. I'm doing this as a volunteer job so please so not tell me about how difficult your first year as a plants and society major is. SERIOUSLY. and lord have mercy on your soul, you HAD to finish all your work because your boyfriend (really? her?) is coming up from the weekend. Wooohooo. And when I said that I was going to be out of town next week for a marathon and I said how I didn't like running. Please don't jump in telling us how you LOVEEEE running. You don't look like you like running to anything other than an ice cream truck. Run 15 miles and tell me how much you love running after that. Yeah, and you still have 11 more miles for a marathon. KTHXBAI. and way to treat your friends like dirt and yell at them thinking they're stupid because you can't seem to unlock your own bike. Why is this girl gardening? Aren't gardeners good people who love plants like Peter Pettigrew (edit: Neville** my bad was too caught up in the moment.) ? Harmless, awkward, adorable, and confidentless (other than that time he stood up to his friends and won Gryffindor the 10 extra points they needed in order to win! YAY!). But seriously, this girl, shouldn't speak. She's one of those people who leech on and 'slyly' directs you into the conversation about themselves. I don't care about how amazing your boyfriend is. Or how amazing costa rica was. Or how you barely studied and did better than your peers. IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER IN GRAD SCHOOL! I'm tired of hearing you talk about yourself. I rather talk about myself to someone else. thanks.

Being productive. HA

So today I went to class late because I decided that staying in bed and sleeping in was more productive than a pamphlet that is due today. Needless to say, I HAVE NO REGRETS. I was at the computer lab where we get free printing so long as the printer that charges 5c a page stays broken. I'm saving up all my small change. You know, to jam the printer. Oh, you must have thought I was going to say to pay for my prints. NO THANKS. I am here for a 5th year and they're sucking enough money out of me. I WANT MY FREE PRINTS

In other news, I went to the library to do two things. Do Pchem hw. And blog. typical library duties. Well, I went to the computer lab but one of them has been converted into a special needs media center where the screens are literally HUGE FLAT SCREEN TVs. Not wanting to face persecution for using these projector screens to write about jewish people, ;) , I went off in search for a less conspicuous computer.

Today my mom went to europe and I'm very stressed about the whole ordeal. I hope her and my gmama are okay. They're going to europe with a bunch of old vietnamese people who's main concern isn't the pick pocketing, but rather, if a rice cooker is a possible check in item. SERIOUSLY. My mom texted me this morning before she left. She said that it will kinda suck because she's going with my gmama. I wanted to respond with a text that said, "one day, it may be the same with us, what goes around comes around". A message about charishing the time you have with your mom. I wanted to write said message, but I only thought about it. because sleep was more valuable to me than teaching my mom a lesson about loving her mother. Oh the irony.

I keep scratching the bug bites I got from yesterday. There are a lot of things about frisbee that I don't like, namely, the long practices. People suck now because they're just learning so I have to be patient. It's cold. We don't play nearly as much as we should. and the bugs. MY LORD davis needs a spray down like the mosquito sprays (cancer causing misting) in Eygpt.

Looks like a cloud! But don't touch it!

Also, recently, I've been eating a huge slice of pie everyday. 6 dollars for a costco pie. To myself. Why does america have an obesity problem? It's been fantastic except for the fact that I ate some pie and honeyed ham right before practice yesterday thinking that my body is capable of amazing things. Such as containing food consumed 15 minutes before during a ton of physical exertion. It was cool. I didn't puke. that much. and it was really a burp. a watery one. with chunks of pie and ham. I know, it really was more of a November month type of burp. October burps should have been more candy filled, but unlike a pinata, this is a time where you don't want to see the candy come out.

Day One - and so it begins...

Being the narcissistic person that I am, I went to the hits page of my blog half-hearting-hoping (let's be real, I was full-heartedly hoping) that I had people reading. Potentially, someone, out there, somewhere, has stumbled across my blog in the off chance that they typed in a keyword such as "Grandma" or "hoola hooping" (unfortunately not in the same blog post). But no, it looks like one person has visited my blog lately. Oh yeah, it also counts when you read your own blog. Needless to say, I've just been refreshing my page to up my numbers. Whatever, just like that new facebook movie, "you don't make a million friends without making some enemies", or in my case, you don't make (it look like you have) any friends unless it looks like you have (falsely generated) visitors. WOW. There are alot of parenthesis going on. I think because I'm trying to convey what I'm thinking in a way that I talk. If you see parenthesis, please take the liberty of imagining myself saying it in my voice, very coyly, with a raised eyebrow. Or saying it in a very sarcastic manor. Or in pirate talk. It was meant to be said.

Anyways, as my eyelids droop like that of droop dog (heh), I must describe my recent commitment to the Hillel House. Sounds ethnic you say? Sounds like... hill. which is like a tall mass of land... which is like a mountain. mt. saini? yes. Through deduction, you have figured out that it's a house for jewish people. which is AWESOME.
WHY JEWISH PEOPLE ARE AWESOME.

they love money!

 they love stars:

They love the movie, "Inception"

Anyways. The reason I bring it up is because we're making Challah for Hunger which is a project where we're making bread, selling them, then using the money to give to hungry people. Great concept right? I love Challah bread. I swear, it's one of my top breads. French bread will always be number one, but there's a bunch of number 2 breads that I can't decide on. Challah is definitely one of those breads though. You know when you see it, that you want it. It's like that hamburger you want when you're in a foreign country. You didn't want it when you were in America, and now that saturated beef patties aren't readily available in your local drive-thru, it's all of a sudden the ONLY thing you can think of. But the point of the story is that Challah is pronounced, "Hallah" but I like to think it's really pronounced "CHAHLAH". And then I sing "Challah back youngin' (woo woo!)"

Fabolous

If you are unfamiliar to this rapper's one hit wonder, please click on the reference below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3yolF8EyGQ

time:0:55

Anyways, I'm reconnecting back to your other roots, Shereen! Awesome right? I'm serving both of your communities. 1st, it was me telling formally religious fellows that their actions were "haram" and now, this. So, your welcome! and tell gmama Ruth I said, CHALLAH BREAD YOUNGIN' WOOWOO!

A new month a new feat

Hello nonexistant blog readers. This is the beginning of something monumental. This is the blog off with one of my best friends, Shereen Masoud. It will be a difficult mission, but I think it will be one that's worthwhile. One not heavily referenced to alcohol abuse (haram) but one that is interlaiden with embarassingly bad puns and geeky references. It's going to be a tough time expressing myself without using other's people's words and picures (Tumblr) but this is a challenge that I have taken on in order to stretch my witty abilities. It's on turban-wearer (hahahahhaha jk. you don't eat curry). But seriously. I hope you seriously laugh the entire time you read this because if puts a smile to my face knowing that I'm going to be entertaining one of the funniest people I know. I hope this is season 1 of modern family and nothing like the premier episode of season 2. but i would settle for a chuckle. or maybe an asthmatic wheeze. Here's looking at you!