Steve Jobs might be a rich...

I've been taking pictures of people for a while to compile what I've been working on for weeks. "What is this?" you may ask. It's the fact that Apple products are currently RULING THE WORLD and in a hostile take over where people are brainwashed and then become zombies by their apple products, I will be one of the very few who will be fighting with my brains intact. Two video cameras in your iPhone looking kinda shady now, huh? WELL DEAL WITH IT.

Just an average day at Starbucks getting some reading done. OH WHAT IS THAT? tic-tac-tow, three macs in a row

So as I was frantically studying for my Material Science midterm, I took a little break taking inconspicuous* pictures of people 'studying' around me. You're not fooling anyone. I'm sure they're listening to their iTunes, downloading apps and scrolling with two fingers on their touch pad.  These 3 following pictures are all from one sitting

Is this a group project meeting or an Apple computer conference?

I have no shame. Those legs belong to a complete stranger I was sharing my couch with  

Is that an HP? Nope, glowing Apple Logo

Literally, in that one sitting, I saw 11. 11!!!!!! MACS!!!!!! My Dell was the minority. I literally feel like this guy.

More Macs at mishka's. Were these computers on a secret menu at coffee shops?

4 visible Macs in this picture. It's like the I SPY of my life

I used to really want a Mac but I realized that they're a nice computer, but completely unnecessary for me. I mean, I couldn't even steal music from my friend from her Mac. WHAT THE EFF STEVE JOBS JUST LET ME TAKE SOME KATY PERRY IN PEACE! 

If I could, I would def get an apple product. ANY APPLE PRODUCT. I'm currently listening to music by singing what lyrics I know outloud. But I guess I'm happy with my new HP Lappy :) 

I smell just as good as I look

Have a happy rest of your week ya'll!

*By "inconspicuous"  I really mean, I'm pretty sure no one saw me but at the same time, I was avoiding eye contact so I assumed that their silence was an indicator of their ignorance. 

(Gym {Rat) [Pet} Peeves] <- words are bracketed accordingly

I am in no way the fittest person I know, but I try my best to work out. I have a lot of problems with gym, specifically how crowded it is at the moment. Really? You guys are still holding up your New Year's resolution? QUIT ALREADY. PLEASE. I just want to do some situps!

Anyways, there are many pet peeves I have at the gym. This may be onset due to the fact that I don't have a music player so I spend most of my time staring at strangers and judging them. Let's be honest, the gym is the best place to feel scrutinized. Wait...

People who talk on the phone while on the phone -

Obviously this girl is getting more of a workout than you are. As you're struggling to keep your breath doing the elliptical, this girl is lounging on an exercise ball while talking to a cell phone that looks like it was made in the 80s. Can't you tell this is hard cardio she's involved in? But seriously though, some girls look like they're going to the gym for a date. Perfectly straightened hair, make-up, and a push up bra? Giiiirl, you obviously know where to fish for those meat heads. But seriously, though. I need to use the space you're filling with you're 2 pound weights and high pitched laughter/chatter because we're up to out elbows and balls at the gym. Like, OH MY GAHHH, talk to your girlfriend about that one guy, who like, blah blah blah, somewhere else, like at the sorority meeting your phone partner will also freakin' attend in a matter of minutes.


People who use the machine 293874293874 years -

this couple started working out 47 years ago and is still going!

The men are actually most guilty of this. There's a thousand treadmills, but there's only so many quad presses (for example). These guys LOVE to load up these machines 50 pounds pass their maximum muscle capacity. Do 3 reps out of the 15 they planned because it's SO HEAVY and then rest for half an hour hogging up the machine. They do not lower the weight. That's machismo for you. So I feel like I've spend the time equivalent to an America's Next Top Model marathon with this guy because he NEVER leaves. And right when I get on the machine, another body builder wannabe stands impatiently and judges me for doing 20 pounders. Whatever, go take some steroids.

But really, for the most part, I have great experiences at the gym. People are friendly (YAY ENDORPHINS!) But I can't help but love people watching. 

Today I saw a girl who created new gym fashion: off shoulder shirts

Unfortunately, and in many ways, obviously, these shirts are difficult to maneuver in without showing certain womanly bits. Needlessly to say, her entire gym experience was her rearranging her 'outfit' she cut herself. She then had the gall to walk in the weight section where all the guys were bench pressing Cadillacs for no apparent reason at all. This girl...

And who can't forget that no matter what ever you do, there's no protection from other who also do it to you. So as you can imagine, I've gotten over my self consciousness at the gym.
Once I worked out with my friend with his douchey gym rat friend. As we were doing sit ups, guys being guys were talking about how girls feel that it's okay to wear nearly nothing to the gym. He then said "It's cool though because it's a great place to shamelessly look at the cleavage" *

I then did sit ups like this

This is so perfect because she's asian and this is exactly where I put my hands to hide any possible skin mounds that could be suggested as cleavage

And today was awesome because as I was doing some weight machines near some guys (taking a really long time and doing weights they could not lift. No surprise). One of them strained a muscle and the guys started discussing his problem. He then said, "I need a girlfriend who can rub my arms out". They of course looked in my direction because I was the only girl in that section. And in my ill fitting tie-dye shirt, sweaty face, bed-head hair and my embarrassing ability to only do a weak set of 10, who can resist?

WOW. I don't know why I'm not at the gym more often. Why do I even leave?


*I don't remember exactly his words, but imagine what a testoterone filled (steroid based) meathead would say.

The final countdown!

One of my guiltiest pleasures is countdowns and I'm not they aren't only reserved for New Years Eve.

Despite my incomprehensible minor fear of basically any animal, one of my favorite shows is The Most Extreme on the animal channel.

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=animal+planet+most+extreme+&aq=f

Watch any of them and learn which animal is the has/is the most extreme mother/hunter/cat/workaholic/athletic/appendage chosen by an unseen group of judges. Watch them and TRY to not watch it until the end. Which animal is the best?

I love listening to the radio still and even though the number one song will probably another Rhianna song with slightly different rhythm and even slightlier different lyrics, I HAVE to know what Billboards top 40 is for the week.

And what's my new obsession?
http://1000awesomethings.com

It reminds me of the great things in life that bring so much happiness like cleaning lint traps, taking your pants off, pulling a weed and getting all the roots out, the clicking sound of anything winding up, and of course, watching cream go into coffee.

Be happy! :)

BEWBS

We all have them to some degree. Unforunately/fortunately, I was given more than my fair share. All those pre-adolescent years wearing mommy's high heels and wishing I had boobs to look more like a woman has turned against me in the largest ironic twist possible. The fact is, I HAVE LARGE BREASTS. May my story be a cathartic experience for you: beware of what you wish for, you just might get it...ten-fold!

I don't remember the day that I realized I had large boobs. It might be my tactless family loudly informing me during my very sensitive years. Training bras were a thing of a past and spaghetti straps was going to be paired with a white strap (the only color bra I had at the time). This awkward stage couldn't get more awkward except for the fact I literally had NUNGA NUNGAS when I had to run the perimeter of the school for Physical Education.

The most embarrassing part of my middleschool life wasn't actually in school. I was on club swimming and breathing heavily on the wall. As I was clinging on the wall hoping my coach didn't see me skip another 100m. A kid in the other lane (about 10) asked, "did you get surgery for your chest?" Needless to say, I avoided hanging out on the wall so I didn't have to talk to him anymore.

But everyone makes fun of me now. My friend Sonja dressed up as me and I dressed up as her this past weekend. Before leaving she said, "should I stuff my bra?" in true seriousness.

But these fun bags aren't always so fun to deal with!

Struggling to be one of the guys is never easy, and no one takes you seriously when you have clevage a mile long.

Recently I played a beach tournament. There was a last minute addition to the team so I sacrificed a my shirt and opted to take a different gray I owned. IT was v-neck and low cut. No need to explain, just let the pictures explain to you.

Oh look, a guy is sitting on a girl and killing her, oh wait HI BOOBS

Whoa, I hope that dude clears over those girls. OHAI BOOBS COMING OUT OF NECK

I will forever make turtlenecks look slutty. So here is a video to give you ideas on what to call me the next time you see me. Odds are, I'll reluctantly look at you with laser for eyes.