I am in no way the fittest person I know, but I try my best to work out. I have a lot of problems with gym, specifically how crowded it is at the moment. Really? You guys are still holding up your New Year's resolution? QUIT ALREADY. PLEASE. I just want to do some situps!
Anyways, there are many pet peeves I have at the gym. This may be onset due to the fact that I don't have a music player so I spend most of my time staring at strangers and judging them. Let's be honest, the gym is the best place to feel scrutinized. Wait...
People who talk on the phone while on the phone -
Obviously this girl is getting more of a workout than you are. As you're struggling to keep your breath doing the elliptical, this girl is lounging on an exercise ball while talking to a cell phone that looks like it was made in the 80s. Can't you tell this is hard cardio she's involved in? But seriously though, some girls look like they're going to the gym for a date. Perfectly straightened hair, make-up, and a push up bra? Giiiirl, you obviously know where to fish for those meat heads. But seriously, though. I need to use the space you're filling with you're 2 pound weights and high pitched laughter/chatter because we're up to out elbows and balls at the gym. Like, OH MY GAHHH, talk to your girlfriend about that one guy, who like, blah blah blah, somewhere else, like at the sorority meeting your phone partner will also freakin' attend in a matter of minutes.
People who use the machine 293874293874 years -
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| this couple started working out 47 years ago and is still going! |
The men are actually most guilty of this. There's a thousand treadmills, but there's only so many quad presses (for example). These guys LOVE to load up these machines 50 pounds pass their maximum muscle capacity. Do 3 reps out of the 15 they planned because it's SO HEAVY and then rest for half an hour hogging up the machine. They do not lower the weight. That's machismo for you. So I feel like I've spend the time equivalent to an America's Next Top Model marathon with this guy because he NEVER leaves. And right when I get on the machine, another body builder wannabe stands impatiently and judges me for doing 20 pounders. Whatever, go take some steroids.
But really, for the most part, I have great experiences at the gym. People are friendly (YAY ENDORPHINS!) But I can't help but love people watching.
Today I saw a girl who created new gym fashion: off shoulder shirts
Unfortunately, and in many ways, obviously, these shirts are difficult to maneuver in without showing certain womanly bits. Needlessly to say, her entire gym experience was her rearranging her 'outfit' she cut herself. She then had the gall to walk in the weight section where all the guys were bench pressing Cadillacs for no apparent reason at all. This girl...
And who can't forget that no matter what ever you do, there's no protection from other who also do it to you. So as you can imagine, I've gotten over my self consciousness at the gym.
Once I worked out with my friend with his douchey gym rat friend. As we were doing sit ups, guys being guys were talking about how girls feel that it's okay to wear nearly nothing to the gym. He then said "It's cool though because it's a great place to shamelessly look at the cleavage" *
I then did sit ups like this
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| This is so perfect because she's asian and this is exactly where I put my hands to hide any possible skin mounds that could be suggested as cleavage |
And today was awesome because as I was doing some weight machines near some guys (taking a really long time and doing weights they could not lift. No surprise). One of them strained a muscle and the guys started discussing his problem. He then said, "I need a girlfriend who can rub my arms out". They of course looked in my direction because I was the only girl in that section. And in my ill fitting tie-dye shirt, sweaty face, bed-head hair and my embarrassing ability to only do a weak set of 10, who can resist?
WOW. I don't know why I'm not at the gym more often. Why do I even leave?
*I don't remember exactly his words, but imagine what a testoterone filled (steroid based) meathead would say.
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