I swear, at least 75% of the conversation with my grandma involves food. She insists that I never go hungry (and I'm pretty sure I have fat reserves to sustain me for months just in my boobs alone). The most frequent food she insists is fruits. Certain fruits are a special commodity. The Rambutan for example - my aunt recently went to Flo Rida (state not rapper) and smuggled us a bag full. As much as I enjoy these hairy balls, they make my throat itch for I am allergic. I also like Jackfruit, but I get tired of it easily since it's extremely sweet and makes my mouth parched every time I eat it. I like fruits but I'm very particular about the amount. Anyways, I swear, if we're not talking about when I'm going to get married, why I'm not trying to be a doctor, or why my skin is so dark, we are talking about food. And it's usually about me taking some sort of fruit from her. Thanks but Nah, ma.
My mom says I need to stop carrying my cousins because I look like a mom. Maybe it's my uncontrollable maternal beacon but kids seem to like me. Because of that, I hang out with my cousins, niece (just one!), and nephews a lot. This, despite looking younger than my sister and being shorter than the average 12-year-old, makes me feel like I should sign up for 20 years younger on TLC. I would actually like 2 but that's what's hot now-a-days right?
Without children in tow, I can pull off the kid look. I went to YMCA to get a free membership today. I could get one as long as ! pose as my cousin's (an employee) 20-year-old sister. I memorized her address but what I failed to consider is the actual year I was born in. So first rule of being a con artist, get your facts together!
I got the membership anyways so cool. And if you needed to know. it's 1990.
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