Convos with Bryce

Summer time means that I have a lot of time, to invest into obligations. I guess I have the option of ignoring my family's request for me to 'do them a favor' but they tend to send over my cousins to guilt trip me into doing something for them. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but daily babysitting two rascals where one is probably mildly retarded (he frequently forgets to wear underpants) is hard to accept when you're being paid lower than minimum wage. Anyways, despite these 'optional obligations' my aunt wanted me to tutor her kids in piano. It's not so terrible if I didn't already have to listen to terrible piano practices for 2. fricken. hours. everyday. I am sure the only others who understand this amount of cacophony are Ke$ha's music recorders and Vuvuzela quality control testers. After saying 'no' in the most direct but politest way many times, my aunt used her kids to ask me. My cold cold heart could no longer stand against these whiny-voiced sticky-handed children. She ingeniously told them to run up to me and give me a hug before asking. That smart bitch. Below is Bryce, the large wave that swayed me into the shore of saying "sure' :(

Don't get me wrong, hanging out with my cousins is a huge perk to this thankless, moneyless job. Also, since they're such noobs, they think piano playing is fun (HAH. just wait...) so teaching isn't so difficult when the student is so eager. This story has a point. I swear.
So today, my usual Friday means teaching them, hanging out with them until dinner, then getting home. The kiddies include Bryce (8?) Izzy (10?) and Cait (4 months). We were all hanging out and feeding Cait but Izzy wanted to play Pixieworld, Neopets gone gay. As a scantily dressed slut with wings, you go around collecting crap like SNOWFLAKES and you go on MISSIONS. It's pure bull and Izzy pours a good chunk of her childhood into it. Great outlook for the future of our children.
the conversation unfolds in the following way:
Izzy : Baby doesn't want to eat dad, she just wants to look at things and smile
The Dad : IZZY, you play all day, feed your sister for like 15 minutes.
Izzy : but DAD, she isn't eating. (whine whine)
Me: Can I do it? You can play
Bryce: you're going to feed her?
Me:yeah?
Bryce : are you going to BEST Feed her?
Me : wait what? no. BEST FEED!?
Bryce : i mean BREAST FEED
Me : NO. Do I look like I can breast feed her?
Bryce : yes. I can't because i don't have boobies
Me : no. i plan on using the bottle.

He is just as funny in person as he is posing for the above photo.