Bryce stole the show with his holocaust-resembling body gyrating in interesting feats. Thought you could hula hoop? This kid can double the speed and fast-forward it overtime. You can do tricks? This kid jumps while he hula-hoops. JUMPS! If he wasn't a boy, 9-years-old, and didn't hit puberty yet, he would be the greatest Vegas performer, but alas, God works in mysterious ways.
But enough with Bryce, the greatest stand-up commedian is my cousin Kevin.
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| You know how it goes in the VN! karaoke, baby. Kevin's the one spittin' rhymes on the mic |
Always quick witted and is a one-upper. My favorite type of funny. During his older sister's goodbye party, we sat through a very moving (read: incredibly awkward) family gathering which went on way too long. Kim was at the center of attention and everyone gave her "words of wisdom". The best was definitely her grandfather who gave an amazing speech on the beauty of a flower is based on the make up of the entire plant and how it correlates to the people in your life. Basically what he expressed in Vietnamese was the fact that a flower is beautiful in it itself, but it's foliage is what gives it true beauty and gives it the nutrients it needs. The roots and leaves are the people in your life who gives you nourishment to bloom into the beauty that you are. You can cut away the leaves, but you no longer have the striking image you had previously with the leaves. "Don't leave (leaf) us". HA. It was very impromptu and was amazing. But this blog isn't about inspiration, it's about being funny and about hurting others in the exchange for our humor. Anyways, one of my cousins is older than me and for lack of better words, she was a bit of a failure. Didn't finish community college and directionless for 7 years after graduating college, she went to a private school to do nursing and we have yet to see any jobs resulting from this. As we were suffering through more awkward words of wisdom (one of the speakers started playing religious pop music) Kevin and I were crackalakin some jokes (as well as farts, our favorite bonding mechanism). As the sun was blazing through the window and straight into our retinas, we took refuge behind the throw pillows. Kevin then suggested (read: threatened) to say something and it went a little like this
Kevin: Be sure to listen to the family because if you don't (lowers throw pillow)
and in our direct line of vision is Van
this will happen to you.
Van won third place in a north american vietnamese pageant. She thought it was the greatest thing ever, but unfortunately, no one cared.... BECAUSE SHE GOT THIRD. I wanted to do it and win second so it would literally dethrone her and it would be hilarious. My mom suggested against it. Pageant girls are notoriously unsuccessful in life.
below is the visual representation of the hilarious moments with kevin in pictoral form.
pillow:
(lowers pillow) - Van
Hilarity
btw. pictures. SO INTENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. IT'S SO REAL! PEOPLE ALWAYS WALK AROUND WITH HAIR LIKE THAT. AND SHOES THAT GROSS. AND PANTS THAT RIPPED.
In other news, I went running and it was a lukewarm 98 freakin degrees when I started. I also had a run-in with my arch nemesis, cantaloupe which I unintentionally ingested which caused major owies in the middle of the night and in the morning. It's cool, waking up gasping for air is how I usually feel when I swim something more that a 50. While I was running up the hill that is Quimby Road, this hot shot guy was running up and down timing himself while I was slowly trekked up the mountainous terrain. I can't imagine doing that hill more than once, and doing anything more than a jog (let's be real, I was walking most of it)
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