fears, tears,and britney spears

Halloween was yesterday and it was a fun event in the family household. At first, it was a tense time (immediate family issues) but it ended up being a worthwhile trip home. Halloween is associated with scary things. Goblins, ghosts, gouls, fat guys in lady gaga costume, and etc. Although I was not recently freaked out (that was reserved for the day that I went to the corn maze. Oh gawd, never again) There are a lot of fears I hold inside. Like the fear of anything crawly. And the fear of dirty wet feet. gross gross gross. But beyond everything, I fear that I'll die a miserable lonely life with no husband or child. At the tender age of 22, you may be wondering... WHY WOULD THIS BE OF CONCERNED. I'll tell you why... because 1. I have had bad luck in the realm of love 2. my family is ALREADY PRESSURING ME and 3. i'm not getting any prettier and i'm not very pleasant so there's absolutely nothing going for me other than this blog which only has, like, 2 readers. All of which are women. AWESOME.

breaking up large amounts of writing with an image

But I diverge. Kinda. I wasn't going to write about the possibilities of why I'll be a miserable spinster woman with cats that I hate because I hate cats. I wanted to write why I think I should be a mom some day.

1. I'm pretty good with kids. - it's no surprise that my cousins love me and think i'm the shizz. It's because I'm just as loud and rowdy as them, and although I am 'one of the guys' I'm also a respected figure. This is usually because i weigh 3 times they do and I threaten to flatten them with my huge badonkadonk if they don't listen to me. But it's all comedic times and I love spending time with them. Babysitting/teaching them on the other hand, I want to stab them, which kinda disproves my theory that I'll be a good mother so please omit that piece of information from your memory

2. Kids like to look at me - Imagine you see the most beautiful person on the planet. Okay. Imagine you're a baby, that beautiful person is me. No joke. I have this magnetism for kids eyes. I think it's because they're looking at my boobs and are thinking "cool, lunch" or they see my enduring youth-like appearance (YAY for being azn) and they see themselves. But no matter what, they like to look at me. And it's weird because people don't get it when I tell them, and then it happens in public, and they're like... hmm.. peculiar but really... IT'S WEIRD. KIDS LOOK AT ME. I like that though. It's nice to know the only guys who check me out happens to be wearing diapers struggling to stand and not drool on a regular basis.

3. I dream about being pregnant. And you know when you have those dreams, you think, OH SHIET! WHAT TO DO? Most people have concerns about who the father is, or how this happen, or how will I support this child on my income of 0 dollars, etc, etc. NO. My main concern was why I wasn't fat enough and I proceeded to eat more. Good mom. Just think, if you were ever pregnant, you can say "I have to eat for two" and proceed to eat for twenty, and no one can say anything because you're pregnant and you're doing it for the wellness of your child* Well, I can't wait to wear maternity clothes and go to a buffet. But why am I telling you about my weekend when I should be focusing on when I will be/if I'll ever will be pregnant

google image>"pregnant annie">result

*statement does not apply to alcoholic drinks

4. Most importantly, I am SUPER CREATIVE and I make the best things ever! - This must have some sort of background. My friends are the most creative individuals EVER. Stemmed from previously creative people (my friend/twin, Stephanie, has the craftiest mother of all time. Ever seen a Harry Potter book cover on a cake... I HAVE, and it's all due to Stephanie's mom) and the fact that I went to an all-girls high school so all our pent up hormonal imbalances was channeled into outdoing one another in artisticness. So, thank you ND for giving me a foot up in being a mom (the irony). This is evident in my recent attempt in making Halloween costumes. And as you can see below, I was R2D2 and my goddaughter was Princess Leia. YES. I made my entire costume and YES I made her entire costume down to the cutesy hat. I am very proud, obvi, but this proves that every ballet recital, Halloween, school play, I can totally deliver in the costume department. Woohoo! So what if I'll feed them nachos and chicken nuggets for their entire lives because I can't cook. They'll look so good (and malnourished) in costumes I'll make by hand (and hot glue! because I can't sew)

OMG. Lauren is so cute when she doesn't scream in my ear

Now that I have written this, I'm deathly afraid that I/ future baby-daddy is going to be sterile. OH GAWD. I guess I can always adopt, but being pregnant seems so awesome! AHHHH knock on (sarah) wood. Oh well, We're all going to die in 2012 anyways and there's no prospective fathers so I'll just be a mom to my cousins for now. Plus, I wouldn't have to deal with the sucky parts of actually RAISING a child. I can just play and dress them and laugh all day and be the cool adult rather than the sucky make-a-thousand-rules-to-make-your-life-lame adult. YAYYYY win-win for Annie!