Shereen and I were talking on the phone recently and discussed the pains it was to write a blog. Maybe some of you think it's a piece of cake, but maybe.... you aren't trying that hard to be hilarious. This is an all day thing, man! Now during my downtime of facebooking, tumblring, and redditing, I have to flex my mental humor and express it on the canvas that is Blogger. Well, aren't you guys demanding?
So Sherizzle brought up that unintentionally funny blogs are usually the funniest. Why is this? Well, according to the wise Dala Sherama, it's because when you are writing about something funny, you become dependent on the story to bring the giggles where as other unfunny posts rely on your diction and word choice. So. Here's the deal. All two of you reading this blog. Make a word suggestion or question and I'll try to describe a story in my life/make something up to tantalize your otherwise boring 15 minutes you WEREN'T reading my blawg.
Since there's no instant gratification button where I get a random word at this second, I'm going to go to a random word generator
OH WOW!
I just found a random Name generator and rather than writing a story about some stupid object, I will think of a good story about whatever name comes up. Can you imagine if this was a way to name your children? I guess when you're Kate from Jon and Kate plus 8, now, Kate plus 8, now, no-one-cares-about-this-show-Kate-gets-alot-of-plastic-surgery, you kinda start losing your steam on naming kids. I would start numbering them. Which that one family from 9 by design did. She literally named her kid Five. FIVE. according to babycenter.com, these are the children's names:
Wolfgang
Bellamy & Tallulah
Breaker
Five & Holleder
Major
Yep. I can't decide on my favorite. I guess I'll chose none of them because they're all terrible.
So if you are a lost of names and you want your kids to hate you for giving them names they can't pronounce or spell until their mid-teens, go to this family.
Okay. So I've randomly generated some names over and over and I have been dissatisfied. You are given the option to choose a number to denote commoness or obscurity of names. it's on a scale of 1 - 99, 99 being... these are just clicks and grunts. I'm on 20 and I swear I've never heard names like these before.
1. Clayton Postel
2. Jami Orloff
3. Julio Duchesne
4. Cody Hermanson
5. Serena Barlowe
6. Erik Wedel
7. Saundra Billick
8. Saundra Cebula
9. Althea Taitt
10. Kelly Weatherall
Really??? Saundra twice? I never knew a Saundra once in my life. Saundra sounds like a name of a woman that works with you mom at an office. The kind of woman that's really nice, doesn't have kids of her own so she really likes asking your questions and she always asks about you during holiday parties. She also has nothing going for her personality-wise so when your mom changes jobs, she doesn't even bother getting Saundra's personal information to keep in touch with. :( I hope I don't get older and become a Saundra.
OK. apparently. these are names taken from the US census. So these are REAL HUMANS! This being said, I came across this lovely gem of a name
6. Anjanette Drybread
really? Drybread? No one even likes dry bread the noun but use it as a name? How terrible.
Okay. I found the name I will describe. Here we go!
IRIS.
I personally like this name. Names for me has a lot of positive or negative connotation solely based on individuals who had that name that I knew before. For example, I give all Shereens a million chances to wow me with their humor. However, there's nothing like the original :) Well, I think I've met Iris a few times, but we never had a real conversation. Like most people I know, I met them through ultimate frisbee. The first time I saw her, she was playing for Irvine. We didn't think much of them being that they're probably nonathletic, a semi-consistent assumption about asians. YEAH I SAID IT. I CAN BC I'M AZN. Besides that, I thought that the Irvine team was putting up a pretty good fight. When it came time to play against Iris, I realized, MY GAWD, HER MARK IS HUGE! As in, when she's playing defense, the area that she blocks is large. Not because she's big. nononono. She's quick and she reads you well. Damnit! Usually you have a slit in which you can throw through. But no, this girl, she's sooooo good. I was highly impressed with her, and so were many other girls on my team. I also recollect that someone on the Irvine team asked me if I knew "Tay Tay" aka Taylor. I said, "yeah, we're friends" and she goes on saying "OHHH MYYY GAWWWD. Isn't he sooooo hot? OMG. I went to high school with him and I think he's so cute. owitaoiuergliuanerlgiunalerugnlaerugnlanregargerg" And I said, "yeah, I guess? We're like, good friends and we hang out. k bye." Anyways, that's a side salad of the story. The main course is, of course, Iris. Well, a lot of my guy friends liked her. The ones in Irvine. And so naturally, I was jealous. And I wanted to know what was so great about her. And so I facebook stalked her. And she's soooo cute. Really. this girl is just the whole package. After knowing her but not actually knowing her because every factual thing I gleaned about her it through facebook, she came up in conversation that I had with my good friend, Danica. Danica told me that she tried hitting on Iris once but Iris has been dating her girlfriend steadily for a while. WHOA. GIRLFRIEND? And that's why, children, you shouldn't always be jealous of other people, because in the end, they might have not been a threat all along. Also, another moral of the story is that through persistent facebook stalking and talking about those people behind their back, you find information about them that makes you feel better about yourself. Kidding aside, she's a really great person, from what I've been told. And she really is adorable. d'awwwww :)
And I'm semi-content with this blog. You're right Shereen!
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